I Miss You
Remember when we met up in between lives and boarded that ship together in the nether sea and we talked about the night we met in that dark pub outside the World's Fair. I was telling a story in song and you had stopped in for a drink after all the festivities had packed up and put themselves away for the day, but you drank nothing. You never touched the mug, you just stared at me. Was that the first time or the last time that I saw you? Was it always or was it never? I still have dreams about how I later came to your table and drank your ale for you, then we ordered another each, sat into the night, across from each other and talk like old friends though we only just met and then we traveled together after that. And I saw you again in a place that some people call heaven, but we just call it then. We sat by a stream in the off lands and made our grand plans for the next road trip through the realm called earth. I would send you notes until we'd meet again in the flesh, I would send them out into the universe and perhaps one day you would read and know it was me. And you agreed to send me songs, art and stories. You would speak to me in my brightest and darkest hours through a voice on the radio, a line in a book or maybe a great painting. I remember once when I was 13 or so I was studying paintings at an Art Gallery in DC and I stopped in front of a portrait of a girl in a yellow dress with a book in her hand and I felt for a moment I could see through her eyes and I looked over to the artist as he painted, I knew it was you. And there would be other signs that you were nearby as well like this latest. I got a note from you last week. It was in a copy of an old book I happened across at a used book store last Sunday. When I entered the store I had asked the staff for a title by Richard Bach and they pointed the way to a few places that it might be. I perused many aisles in the lovely shop with walls and walls of dusty volumes but I did not find a one so I chose instead an illustrated copy of Alice and Wonderland and a few by Jack Kerouac and paid for my little book stack. Then as I readied to leave a girl came to me and said she'd found two titles by the author I had requested. Good enough. Without even looking at them I purchased the books, happily thanked her and went on my way. I was having one of those lazy languid peaceful days and thinking maybe I'd see you. Maybe I'd meet you someplace in this realm today, but I went home alone.
Hours later with a cup of coffee and one of our songs playing on the radio I decided to read the books that had chased me as I'd left the store that day. One was a little orange book called "There's No Such Place as Far Away". I hadn't seen this one by Mr. Bach before, was it a children's book? ... I opened it and there you were right inside the front cover... another note from you. It was addressed to one of the names I go by in this life and from a name that is most likely not yours but the meaning helped me understand and recognize you better when we meet up again.
The note said: "When I read this book I thought of you and the distance between you and I. Distance of miles and time does not harm the beautiful friendship we share. I will always be there when you need me. Remember that. Much Love."
I read the book and it was exactly what I have always known about you and myself. There is no beginning or end. We have always been. I have known you since the first moments of the universe if there is such a thing and you will be with me long beyond a time when all that that our thinking minds can grasp has passed.
The story reminded me of a poem I had written forever ago...
No one mind
Body and mind
And lay entwined
In the sweet freedom
It seems strange to share our story now where the world can see. But I had to thank you somehow, for another note sent by your higher self and passed through a thousands hands to mine then on to the present me at this present time.
In this lonely realm where I have lived just slightly on the outside all of my life it is comfort beyond measure to know you're out there too.
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Following my restless traveling spirit wherever it may lead; making art, taking pictures and writing notes along the way.
All Photos and Written Work Copyright ©2022 Charity Janisse