Lilac Lately

On Monday morning this week I woke up and I wanted to paint, not just for an hour or two in between other things, I wanted to paint for days. I had a decent amount of other work scheduled for the week but decided I would do every bit of it on Monday so Tuesday I could go straight to the studio and paint till at least Friday. And that is what I did. My first painting I was drawn to purples and blues and I painted and painted, I lost myself in it. I listened to music and I just drifted into the lovely details unfolding on the canvas as I worked. On Wednesday I wanted to name it so I could share photos on Instagram and I closed my eyes and saw a field of lilacs, miles of lilacs, in my mind I looked up and saw the sky above those flowers with beautiful wisps of clouds, I felt at peace. I decided I'd name the painting either "Lilac Skies" or "Lilac Lately". I put up a reel with pictures and music and then thought I should look up the meaning behind Lilacs because I knew I'd seen those lilacs in my mind for a reason. The first meaning I saw was that lilacs are commonly associated with mourning and loss, it made me   sad. I hadn't lost anyone yet the name felt just right. I looked a little further and saw that lilacs are also associated with laughter and joy, that felt good so I decided to go with "Lilac Lately" to express the joy of being back in the studio. I'd injured my knee just horribly in May so it had been painful to stand and walk till just recently. As I like to stand and move a lot as I paint, I'd gotten away from it the past few months and it felt so good to be back to it.
Later that same day I got a message from my sister that a dear friend of ours had passed away on Sunday night, I couldn't believe it. It was Monday when I just wanted to be alone and paint which is a way that I commonly deal with grief, it uplifts me to paint and honors the memories of those on my mind. I often create to deal with difficult emotions like loss or lost love which is it's own kind of grief. I didn't realize I was grieving my friend before I even heard the news. It made me smile to think of it because one of my favorite things about my friend, her name is Jody, is her smile and her laugh. And that was the other meaning of lilacs - joy and laughter.
I thought of the moment when I saw in my mind the field of lilacs and the beautiful blue sky and felt like I'd gotten a glimpse from my friend's perspective as she is now seeing the world with new eyes from another place. It made happy and sad all at once. I hadn't seen Jody in a while but there were a few years where I saw her every day. She was so open and accepting and always down to talk about literally anything. There was a time I worked as a waitress and she came to my restaurant every day for a large iced tea and lunch and she'd stay a couple hours. I take my break with her and we'd talk and laugh. I remember sitting on the balcony at my old apartment over Bogart's with her and other friends watching the bands unload their instruments in the back parking lot and how we'd talk to all the musicians. Jody was always so bold and full of life. I will always remember her that way, accepting me just as I am, for good and bad, sitting with me at times when I painted and huge hugs when I was wrecked over a break up. I felt like her Spirit came to visit me this week and reminded me to blast music and paint. So here is Lilac Lately, Dedicated in Loving Memory to Jody. My precious friend in Heaven.