Self Exploration With Art

​Self Exploration 
Any understanding of the universe outside of ourselves  begins with a deep understanding of the divine mystery we hold within.

I shared this message in a post on Instagram exactly one year ago today and I thought it would be nice to share these thoughts here as well.
About 2 or 3 years my daughter pointed out to me that she was pretty sure I had Prosopagnosia, I’d never heard the term but it’s also called “face blindness”. I talked to my mom and found actually it’s inherited. I spent much of my life feeling like kind of an idiot or unkind because I could never recognize people. If I see someone every day in the same location I’ll know who they are but if I run into them some place unexpected I won’t know them at all. I’ve hurt a lot of peoples feelings that way, it was never intended. I remember people by their clothing style, where I usually see them or by their walk, or voice, never by their face. I have trouble following movie plots because I often can’t tell the characters apart. Some people have a mild case but it turns out mine is pretty severe as when I step away from a mirror I don’t even remember my own face. I realized once I made this discovery why I also got a bit obsessed with self portraits when they invented the selfie camera. As I spent most of my life not really remembering what I looked like I never thought much of my looks. When I was able to look at my own face in a camera and take pictures I felt like I was looking at someone else. I went through a phase when I would photograph myself and then try to draw or paint the picture from memory without looking. The images never quite looked like me but they looked like my idea of myself. I don’t know if my life would have been easier if I’d known this sooner or if it even really matters at all. But I try harder now when I meet people to specifically look at details about them that I can remember later if I run into them in a different location so I don’t hurt their feelings. I still don’t really remember what I look like and I got bored with self portraits a few years ago once I felt I’d studied myself from every angle. But I love the little art works that came out of these experiments so I do plan to circle back around to this art style again soon. I have tons of work like this somewhere in my storage space with a lot of other art experiments, but these are among my favorites.
#Prosopagnosia #faceblindness #selfportrait #art #experimentalart #self