Charity Janisse
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Done

12/27/2005

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I'm DONE
        trying to be friendly
with rude thoughtless people

I don't know why
for a while I tried
to make friends I did not actually want
and to be a part of a particular group
that seamed to have a lot in common with me...
but there is so much more to friendship
than appearences
and I sware I thought
I'd learned this lesson already

seams like I should know by now
that in life
we connect with people or we do not
it's that simple

I had a group of friends
in a town I lived in once
and they were my whole life
my family
when I didn't have one
but apparently most of them don't even remember me
and I come to this town
looking for the same scene
trying to recreate what I once had
with different people
that seamed like those
but these
are not
and they have eachother
anyway

 I'm finally ready to say
I don't want that life anymore
not here nor there
not now
because then
is gone
and will not be again
and these new people don't give a damn about me
and those others don't even fucking remember me
why would I try
to like people
I don't ...
I'm not really sure
seamed like the thing to do
but it didn't make me happy
so I'm definitely done trying

connections are made one on one
indivisual friends we can lean on
there's no getting in
with a group or a scene
unless you want to be one of them
and I will never be anything except what I am
so why kiss their ass
like I'm in some highschool class
I have no fucking idea...
but I won't be doing it again.









untied ( the ending or the beginning that brought it on)

This is all coming together
memories mixed with hunger
... thought had passed forever

but the past is much too clever

it all comes back
what is
what was
what will always be
it all is
and still a part of me
the pieces that make
truces we break
hearts we take

loves we forsake

it all goes
it all stays
I move on to another phase
of life
a wife
to fire and earth
transform
rebirth
and what came first
the ending or the beginning that brought it on
the beginning
          that moved me on
I ramble
     I ramble on
and yet...
I see you as clear today
as any day ever

oh the past is much too clever

to let me sever
the thought
you brought
the life
I tried

.you lied.

I am completely
                   untied

untied
untied

untied.
--
Charity
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    Charity Janisse


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