even when I do not say a word

​​Never had anything
pull me in
burn my skin
leave me wanting
longing
like a restless soul
trapped between two worlds
it haunts me
the vicious need of you
Never had a feeling
I could not walk away from
what I always knew of love or lust
was easy
for me
because
I could take or leave it
and it could take or leave me
and I'd be fine
before or after
same as always, same as ever
but after this
I will not be
what I was
before
no... not after this
it steals my breath
it wakes me
in the night
with thoughts of you
that are so beyond
any thought
that I've

held in my mind
my body breathes your name
even when I do not say a word
why this
why now
when I have always had the upper hand...
everyone else
always wanted me
more than I wanted them
and my heart has always been mine to choose
who I will and will not give it to
but my heart she's left
and gone to you
Nothing ever pulled me in
nothing ever burned my skin
nothing ever took me over
nothing ever
made me want
the way you haunt
some place beyond my every thought
and now I just wonder
want...
and wait
secretly adoring
this exquisite pain
as my body screams your name
from some place
so deep within
even when
I do not say a word.