Charity Janisse
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I Remember The Way

9/19/2005

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Monday, September 19, 2005
so I remembered my dream...
​
I remember the way
he said
"I love you"
I can almost hear it aloud in my mind
while I sit here now and write this down...
that subtle Irish lilt... and a hint of sadness
he begged me to stay on in town
for a spell
I'd already lingered a week or two
 too long
and it was beginning to feel like roots
and for some ~ roots ground and stabilize
through the winds and rain of life
but for me they are naught but a tangled trap
a spider web vast
attempting to keep me on
for too long ...
it's too much like ties
and I remember the look of love and sorrow in his eyes
another season and he'd have
his harvest and enough of what he thought he'd need
 to come and  travel along with me
but who waits for the land
when they long to touch the sky...
as I
ever, always do...
and it seems the only response I know to say
to words of love
is  goodbye...
and I ... always do
we met for one last night
in the tavern where we'd
locked eyes for the first time
with songs and a fireplace bright
he bought me
my share of ale
and I bedded him
as I'd intended anyway
with or without the drink
and whether or not I would stay
I saw something in his eyes
I'd never seen in a man
and I mistakenly thought
I'd stumble across the likes of one like him
again...
I did not.
I traded a house and a field
and any hope of family or a stable life
for the woods
and the roads
a verse, a song
and my ever restless wandering spirit.
I don't questions choices I make
once all is done
whether to go or stay
I'll always move on
I don't regret
the loves I've left along the way
but there was one
that almost made me stay
He said "I love you"
and from his lips those sacred words fell
with such passion
they sounded as if they'd been stolen from an epic tale
of  battle and romance and glory
something about him
and the way he made his claim
sounded as if it had never been said before
and would never be said again
to another
but could I be a lover
 to one
who needed solid ground beneath his feet
at the end of the day
a warm place to sleep
I need the ships, I need the waves
I need the forest, the fields
a brand new place
whenever I desire
a different tavern
a different fire
  endless adventures for stories and verses
but sometimes... my heart... it curses
my restless spirit
that could not stop along the way
wait a little longer and stay
with a man who said
"I love you" the way
I would never hear again...
and it took me a life time to realize
that I would forever be in love with him.

​Charity


5:55 AM
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    Charity Janisse


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