I do not claim to be
Perfectly adjusted All together Well balanced Or even Completely sane, But I am A creature who lives For the word behind my name. I live for love. I have survived More than most should see ~ (In one life time At least) And I have lived Wild and recklessly… I do not claim To know exactly What I am doing Where I am going Or what will happen next, And I am not perfectly satisfied With this life I have At present Who is? But I make my choices Good or bad Healthy or not Logical, sound Or utterly foolish, I make my choices Based on the word behind my name. I make my choices for love. And in a world of people Who every single day Make choices for the sake of fear Choosing what I love Over all At all times It has to mean something. ~Charity
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The darkness passed
The morning arrived And I wonder why must we learn By traveling through night? Is it a choice? I hear your voice, It is nearer than ever this time Like a word in my ear Like a breath on my neck You say, “wait for me I’m close” And I do Of course I do, I always have I wait for you. Charity I
cannot deny that which moves me. In my blood You are ~ the shiver that runs through me from fingertip to toe wherever I go. You are. Charity I did not know at the time
but I had fallen in love. The kind of love that makes you tremble under your skin from a place further within than you realized existed inside you before then. The kind of love that feels like the deepest breath you could take in your life. Like that first breath of air after you dive deep into the water and swim further under than you ever meant to go and your air is running low and you realize too late that there is not enough breath left for the return trip. So you shoot for the surface of the water you can barely see the sun for a minute you think you'll never arrive you see images of your life passing rapidly through your mind and then suddenly there you are - You’ve emerged once again into the world of oxygen. You're above the water free of impending death free of the cold dark pressure that would have taken you under and from this world forever. And that is when you take the deepest breath The fullest, strongest breath that you have taken in your life. Your chest expands and your throat feels tight as you nearly choke on the air you are drinking in so greedily so hungry just to breathe and breathe so intensely thrilled to be alive. That's what this love feels like. That first breath so strong after nearly losing your life. It stops me in my step some times and takes me far away from everything that I can see in front of me, and this love it causes me to shiver, shudder, quiver from head to toe. I lose all thought and only know that I am more alive for that one sacred meeting with a person who would teach me a new perception of love that would ultimately change my life forever. Charity 6/19/2014 Skies Thoughts and Signs
Sometimes I lay awake at night and think about you and when I will see you again. I will wrap my arms around your neck Press my body deeply into yours and just breathe you in. It doesn't matter if it is a public place An airport or a train car. I will see you, you will smile My eyes will tear up Then I will cross the space left between us The space that has spanned life times And beyond ... I am so finished with the space between us... You will take my hand as I get close So I don't hesitate in disbelief that you are finally standing there before me, And then I will wrap my arms around your neck And hold you till I'm sure that you are made of flesh and blood And we exist together for once In the same realm, the same world, the same place in time... after all After all this time. It's been too long my love. I am tired of waiting, I am finished looking, I have hoped and been wrong once too much You're on your own now in this hunt For the one I give up... If you're half the man that I know you to be You'll find me regardless. And then when you see me across the room You will call me near to you With that smile I have seen in more dreams than I can count And you’ll let me hold you Press my body against you long enough To be sure That you are made of Flesh and blood And the skies, thoughts and signs have guided us Into each other’s arms once more. Charity love is the elixir that she bathes in
dances, dreams and aches in. the ancient magic that stirs in her the dew on the grass the wisp of a cloud that travels past, lives is this girl that you desire but can never fully grasp as she is the one that soars in a dream back to her sleeping body soundly within the lines and rhymes of poetry she is the divine awakened mystery sublime enchanting outside of time she is the distant desire in your mind for what you would have never planned and cannot understand just take a breath and take her hand trust that all is well and you will not utterly lose yourself to a girl who bathes in the well of love. You'll only lose yourself just enough to find what distant inside You always knew you wanted from the beginning. Charity There are words
others use for people like us and some of them are not kind; crazy mad solitary delusional tragic... what have you who cares. I embrace them I claim them I love them. You have to understand that just because we see the world differently than you do and perhaps have seen more enchantment and tragedy in our unusual lives than others have seen in their many peaceful years there is nothing more right or wrong with any of us than there is with anyone else. The world is different than people think there are hidden lights shadows and mysteries we remember them we see them when others forget or cannot that is all. And we write those mysteries we paint those thoughts unseen we create music from tunes we hear and feel but could never quite explain any other way and we share our world with you. And you love it you do you love our vision our passion our "weirdness" our "madness" While you shake your head at our tragic lives of "solitude" "confusion" "hard living" and "seclusion" the truth is that madness that loneliness that can never be relieved not by any amount of company it paints the paintings you see it writes the stories you read It creates every note in the songs that you love and every line that you'll sing time and again. And they say of us what a shame they are so talented and yet they never could quite fit in so troubled so tragic their story is. But that is why we create the exquisite things we do; If we ever for one minute fit into your world we would never be desperate enough to write our stories paint our pictures play our songs and attempt to share the world we see with you. Charity 2014
I turn up the volume
to mask the thought of you that will not stop if this is love then there must be a very thin line between love and insanity ~ as it cannot be sane well balanced or healthy to think of anything or anyone the way I do of you, so I turn up the volume close my eyes fade into the liquid voice of a girl as my body slips into the deliciousness of sleep and I breathe while I touch the edge of a half waking dream and picture the galaxy swirling around this world in my head that you have become. Charity AND SHE LOVED HIM FOR IT
3/31/2014 She could see him his truth his art she could see through the broken parts through the darkness and to the light that he carried deep inside and she loved him for it. Charity Nothing changes for me
as I reside inside another shimmering night the day comes and goes and it takes me through it's practiced methods of surviving this life, but then evening saunters in with a swirl of her colored cape splashing the sky with golden pink light teasing the world with a dizzying breath of beauty just before night and here I reside inside a peaceful thought of you inside a luxurious tune. I take a breath and pick up my pen again I like my alone I like my longing I like my wandering I like hiding out in a book I do and I like this sheet of paper and the way it invites my heart to reveal every desire that I would never dare say with my two lips aloud. And here I am again at days end again residing alone inside of another shimmering night. Charity 3/21/2014 |
Charity Janisse
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