Charity Janisse
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Our Vision, Passion, Weirdness, Madness

4/12/2014

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There are words 
others use
for people like us
and some of them are not kind;
crazy
mad

solitary
delusional
tragic...
what have you
who cares.
I embrace them
I claim them
I love them.
You have to understand 
that just because we see the world
differently than you do
and perhaps have seen
more enchantment and tragedy
in our unusual lives
than others have seen
in their
many peaceful years
there is nothing more right or wrong
with any of us
than there is with anyone else.

The world is different 
than people think
there are hidden lights
shadows and mysteries
we remember them
we see them
when others forget
or cannot
that is all.

And we write those mysteries
we paint those thoughts unseen
we create music 
from tunes we hear and feel
but could never quite explain
any other way
and we share our world
with you.
And you love it
you do
you love our vision
our passion
our "weirdness" our "madness"

While you shake your head at our tragic lives
of "solitude"
"confusion"
"hard living"
and "seclusion"
the truth is
that madness
that loneliness that can never be relieved
not by any amount of company
it paints the paintings you see
it writes the stories you read
It creates every note
in the songs that you love
and every line that you'll sing
time and again.

And they say
of us 
what a shame
they are so talented and yet they 
never could quite fit in
so troubled
so tragic
their story is.
But that is why
we create
the exquisite things we do;
If we ever for one minute 
fit into your world
we would never be desperate enough
to write our stories
paint our pictures
play our songs
and attempt to share
 the world we see
with you.


Charity
​2014
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And She Loved Him FOr it

3/31/2014

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AND SHE LOVED HIM FOR IT
3/31/2014
​
She could see him
his truth
his art
she could see through the broken parts
through the darkness
and to the light
that he carried deep inside
and she loved him for it.


Charity
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Another shimmering Night

3/21/2014

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Nothing changes for me
as I reside inside
another shimmering night
the day comes and goes
and it takes me through
it's practiced methods 
of surviving this life,
but then evening
saunters in
with a swirl of her colored cape 
splashing the sky with golden pink light
teasing the world
with a dizzying breath of beauty
just before night
and here I reside
inside
a peaceful thought of you
inside a luxurious tune.
I take a breath
and pick up my pen again
I like my alone
I like my longing
I like my wandering
I like hiding out in a book
I do
and I like this sheet of paper
and the way it invites my heart
to reveal every desire that I would never dare say
with my two lips aloud.
And here I am again
at days end again
residing alone inside
of another shimmering night.


Charity
3/21/2014

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It's the Wondering

3/19/2014

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I have no problem
With the waiting
I've grown accustomed to the wanting
It’s the wondering that kills me
It’s the wondering
If you’re wanting
And perhaps even waiting
The way I do
for you
But love It’s not the waiting that I’m hating
I would wait a forever or two
The way I always have for you.
No not the waiting or the wanting…
It’s the wondering that kills me
The ever growing

never knowing
Wondering if you’re wanting me still
In the way I've always only ever wanted you.

​
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Then There Not

3/13/2014

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I found you in the early morning
lit with sun
damp with dew
cool like wind
and distant as the other side
of this world wide
while I reached for you,
but my hand passed though.
As if you were imagined
like some brilliant thought
there for a moment
and then there not.

I loved you in the sunlight morning
loved you immediately
just like that, 
loved with a love I did not understand,
loved you completely... even as
you passed right through me
like air
like light
like a fleeting kiss in a tumbling night.

But for that sacred second in time
You were real 
and you were mine.


I drank your words
I breathed you in
and I stayed right there
after you'd gone
the whole day through
to await your return again.

Charity

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Separate But Together

3/7/2014

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The quiet
Contented
Peaceful knowing
That we are connected
Always
You and I
And each
Of us
Separate 
But together
In a place
Very much like love.

Whether we say it, see it,
Show it
Know it
Admit we feel it
Or choose to reveal it;
We are connected
By the river
Of an energy
Wild and free
That we
Tend to call love.

Charity
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A Current Running Through

2/28/2014

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It is true that you will often be
A current running through
My work, my art, my thoughts, my heart
That’s what love does though,
It takes one person, one other person in this whole damn world of millions
 and it connects them to us in a way that no one else can ever be connected to us.

And for me
No one will ever be
What it is you are.

But that does not make me
Any more
Or less complete
With you
Or without you here.
I am who I am
I’ll do what I do
But you
Will always be
A current that runs through
The heart of me.

~Charity
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I always just kind of lost track

2/16/2014

2 Comments

 
it was enough
the time
and the way it trickled like beads of sweat
down my skin
as I left every place I’d ever been,
swearing I’d be back again
but I never did
I never did go back.
I always just kind of lost track
of where I’d meant to be
before the next thought
the next city
the next walk
the next promise
of something
ever
so much better called to me.

but life doesn’t work that way
forever
and time trickles
down our skin
like beads of sweat
as we run
from everything
and so easily forget
just how much we meant
to go back again.

and somewhere inside
we know
eventually it all has to stop
it all has to end
and one day we’ll have to stand still long enough
to remember who we are
who we’ve been
we can’t run forever
and never
stop.
one day we have to stand still
long enough
to know ourselves

long enough
to maybe stay
even
and love somebody else.

Charity


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2 Comments

hiding from talk

2/5/2014

1 Comment

 
It was as if somehow in that one moment I was
utterly enchanted and at peace with the extent of my darkness
hiding from faces
hiding from talk
hiding in places
no one dared walk.

There's this line between being trapped within a daily routine
and doing something daring and slightly life threatening
that reminded me
for a moment
 I wanted to be
 alive.

And that moment, that line
that place I walked
reminded me
that I ought not give up

it was

the fear of losing my life
that gave me my life.

Is that so wrong to say now looking back?

Charity
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1 Comment

slightly less

2/5/2014

0 Comments

 
Each time the darkness comes
I love it a little more deeply
And I fear it slightly less.

Charity
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    Charity Janisse


    Poems I've written over the course of my life and recently.
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Indianapolis, IN 

 All Photos & Written Work
​ Copyright ©2023  Charity Janisse 

Contact: charityjanisse11@gmail.com

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