she's looking for something sacred and familiar

Sun, May 15, 2011, 2:07 PM
to SweetJane's
She presses her face against the glass
looking forward, looking past
thinking... no not thinking back
she sees her breath again
the fog against the window pain
it's too cold
too fucking cold these days
she laces her boots
silently
perhaps a little violently
punishing herself
for letting go
to many days and nights to know
where the time went
how it was spent
and why she has so little to show
for so very much
what seams like so very much time
she touches up her nails
painting over the broken edges
hoping no one will notice
the little measures
she does and doesn't take
when everything breaks
just to get a little more strength
to step out the front door
in a strange city
she's looking for something
sacred and familiar
slipping on black bracelets
pulling back her tangled hair
if there was time to comb it
she wouldn't care to bother
she's never been the fussy type
she prides herself on the random fact
that a little lip-gloss is enough
to make herself presentable
she never needed much
in the way of makeup
always in a rush anyway
to waste the time
with powders and perfume
she's that girl that can't stop moving
can't stop proving to herself
if no one else
that she's accomplished something
something worth remembering
something that matters
in all this time
all this time
she grabs her jacket
that over-sized black jacket
that she borrowed from a friend ten years ago
telling herself it was only
a temporary cover from the cold
the fucking cold
and she's out the door
scraping ice off the car
hoping it will start
to find her way around
this town
this unfamiliar
seemingly
uninteresting... town
must be something to do
must be someone out there
that'll give a damn
eventually
about the fact
that
this girl even exists
and it's so fucking cold.