Full Circle October

​It's October now
and you don't know me anymore
the winds have blown through ages
of silence and mystery
tossed us
like autumn leaves
beyond your thought
and under your feet
but I will not cease
to love you
though it remains
unknown and misunderstood
completely by me
even why
this energy that is love
is something that sometimes just  happens to us
(occasionally)


we do not decide
or try
to feel or fall 
it simply becomes us.


one moment we don't know
and then we do.


but what to do
what to do
what to do
once we know
I don't chase
and have not been caught
though I'll not deny you are what you 
are
and in being that
exactly
what I want.


and it's October again
full circle 
nearly 8 years since
that day we met
a november 
I will not regret
full circle and if I could go back
I would still have met you there
I'd have met your hesitant smile
I'd have met your rich brown eyes
your quiet laugh
and smooth sexy voice
like a perfect cup of coffee
first thing early morning
when the world is delicious


and new


I'd listen again to your story
of why you could not tip
that horrible waitress and then
you had to go back for the things
you forgot at the table
and face her again
I would have died
of humiliation if that were I
but you just shrugged and laughed a little nervously
because things like that
seemed to be a regular part of your path...


But was meeting someone like me
that would fall
so breathlessly
head over everything
for you
just a regular part of your path
I'm guessing now
perhaps it is


at least I suppose
as I was never a chance
you chose
to take
more like
a random dance
in the night
with an unknown person
some dim light
after a beer or two
perhaps something more like that
I'm guessing since you
left so easily
with a smile
and a cheers
maybe some mild disappointment
that I could not be friends
and off you went to your own life
not knowing how you'd shaken mine
(I didn't know either. in fact I thought I'd quickly forget you like
every other)
and here I am after all this time
full circle October
and a leftover rhyme
still I am forever changed
and
I'd love to say 
I planned it this way
somehow
but love is not something we choose 
is it?
no it's not like that
it chooses us
it chooses us
and this love chose me


though occasionally
I hate the fact
that we gave up
that nothing
ever came of us
but I cannot help to trust
that eternity lined us up that day
for some specifically spectacular reason
so I would not go back 
and not meet you
no I would not go back.
no
I'd meet you a thousand times over
listen to your stories again
about how your life had not yet measured up to your standard
but still you would move forward after
what it is you decided mattered.
(even though it would not be me that mattered
not me you'd go after)
I would not change the day
we sat together
and talked like old friends
though we'd just met.


now it's
full circle october
leaf spinning breeze
sneaks through my window
and it's days like this
I extra remember
days like the one
I fell in love
with you.
what to do
sit down and write this I guess
smile and be glad we met
what's all that about better to have loved and such
yeah that fits
and it's
full circle october now.
full circle october now.


Charity