When Did I see You Last

​​When did I see you last
When I got on the bus from Florida to Cincinnati in my favorite hat
That I stole from my dad…
When I walked out of the house again… mad at him
He and I never could see eye to eye
(Never stopped us from loving each other though)
Love is odd like that
Something we don’t decide
But in many ways all the different kinds of love are the main reason we arrive
In this place called human life.

But then there’s a lot that we do
Which we never decide
Experiences, expressions and all
These human functions that happen anyway
Like we breathe to live, though we rarely give it a thought
And bleed when hurt
And heal whether we try to or not
It’s just something our body decides
And does.
I think love is a lot like that
A force of something like nature
That chooses us
And exists in our soul
Whether we want to feel it for a particular someone or not…

When did I see you last
When I walked down the beach alone with my feet in the sand
my green hippy back pack
With a beat up old journal
Full of poems I’d written about you
And maybe I hadn’t even met you yet.

When did I see you last
Over a cup of coffee
In a midnight diner
In the mountains in Tennessee
Country music on the jukebox that I tried not to like
Cause I was a punk rock girl.
The way I tried not to like you so much
When it seemed you didn’t feel the same
But the heart makes its own decisions…
Sometimes I think the rest of us, our mind, our body, our soul
Is just along for the ride.

When did I see you last
When I was sitting by a river in the woods
My skin damp
From dew on the grass
In the early morning light
Went there to meditate
Or maybe take pictures
walk the trails
And I found myself
Half asleep on the grass in a sunrise
Dreaming your smile
Like I have many times,
Before and since we met
If I’ve even met you yet…

When did I see you last
At an airport in the desert
The night I landed in my new life
Leaving everything I’d ever tried to be
That was not me
Behind
In offices
I’d never step foot in again.
I’d write books, paint pictures, tell fortunes and chase little ones to get by after that.
Sometimes something happens in your life and you never look back.
Sometimes a moment changes you and you shout inside to the universe your greatest thank you
Tears of joy on the brim of your lashes
Because you know you’ve found your honest identity, your reason to be
And you’ll never again attempt to be
Anyone different
Ever again.

And the body keeps breathing,
The sleeping mind keeps dreaming,
We bleed when hurt, we heal without giving it much of a thought
and we scar, yeah of course we scar at times too,
Because as we all know certain moments in life leave a permanent mark.

That moment in my life
Left a mark,
One I would never give back
That moment I saw you last
If I’ve ever even seen you at all
In this present human life
With these wide blues
Maybe it was another me
In a forgotten dream
That knew you so well that I brought your memory
Into this world with me
Maybe it’s only my heart and not conscious thought at all
That  actually remembers
When I did see you last
When did I see you last
When did I see you last
When will I see you next.

Charity