She was a long way from home
 I knew the look
I had seen it in the mirror more than once.
Another cup of coffee
A late night walk on the shore
A cigarette with a friend
Then off to the next town.

Charity

He’d been on the road a long time. 
Eventually his blue motorbike rusted and failed.

It didn't stop him though, from going the way he meant to go.

He left it in fallen leaves by the side of the road 
And walked instead
The way he meant
On down the trail. 

Charity

Last night
the other world
was so very real
that the wake up 
caught me completely off gaurd
the mood
was so damn smooth
and the light
was green and white
I felt 
so there
that now
the here surprises me
and reality
has remained so lucid today
though I am relatively sure I am awake....
I'm wandering
too deeply into thought
and musings have me caught
within
a time between
the before and there after
with a soft ring of laughter
that runs through my mind
so pure, clear
and calm
like a stream
or an evening walk
through the wood
by my old red house
am I inside
or am I out
can I wrap my mind
my hands
around
 this moment
and keep 
the mood that lingers 
from the other world
I visited
last night.

Charity 2007

I fell fast and quick
just slipped
right into love or something like that...
with you.
But the gates were closed
your walls tall stone above my head
with frozen snow dusting your chilly touch on my skin.
The last girl that passed through
had broken you...
You built your iron gates and brick walls high after that
then locked yourself into a painless, loveless hope for safety.
And I'm sorry that I met you after her
and not before.

Charity 2013

It seams so rare
that we have a chance in life
to see the universe
from a completely different
perspective
to explore a realm
of life and humanity
otherwise untraveled
and unchosen by our selves.
But it happens
and we are pulled
out of our element
beyond our comfort zone
into unchartered days
called upon to live in ways
we never imagined.
It can be frightening
and more difficult
than it seems like life should be
But I am beginning to realize
having faced one
just such experience
that it is more of an opportunity
than I would have previously thought.
A chance to step outside myself
see so far beyond my life
and the path I thought I had chosen
as if becoming so open
suddenly released
from the box I had agreed to live within
not realizing how amazing
all could be
on the outside
of my own reality.
I think it has made me better
I still have so much to learn
but I am glad for the difference
that I have seen
because now I know
how much more I am capable of
How much more I can accomplish
when the stakes are high
How hard I can work
for a purpose.
It's so strange
because now that this challenge
is seemingly over
atleast for the time being
I cannot go back
I cannot be who I was before
And I am finally
for the first time in my life
becoming aware of the fact
that if I had the chance
I would not want
to go back.


Charity April 2005

I returned my halo, I gave back my wings.
 I was sent to be your angel and you would not let me be
A help, a love, a hope... not anything.
You closed your door, so eventually... I walked away.

The assignment was too damn difficult...
To bring happiness to one who would rather be sad.
To love one that does not desire my love.
To help one who is so sure he can do it all on his own.
Why try to open eyes that are more comfortable sealed shut.

You asked for me, chased after me and then chose not to let me be
The one that walks with you.

So I gave you back to the Universe
And I trust with me or not
You'll find your way to peace eventually my love
We all do.

Now
Hear I am
An unwanted angel visiting earth
No halo no wings but I can fly when I need.
And as you have no need of me I'm free

So I am a traveler now, exploring this realm while I'm here

Offering my open hand and heart to others that may have need of a girl
That never fully belonged in this world
And they do. They call me beautiful, accept my help and even say thank you.

Through those others I've discovered 
An unwanted angel can be of some use in this restless realm after all.
And because of that you were worth the fall.
After ever, after all.
And I am at peace if I am only to be
An unwanted angel traveling the earth.

Charity 2013

She sets herself aside
in vacant moments
with a whisper to remind herself
of some sweet laughter on the air
catch a favor
touch the fabric
let it run
like water
through your fingers 
while you linger on the
presence
of the essence
 in this moment.

Charity 2008 

Was that the sun 
sneaking through the kitchen window
casting it's yellow smile on the wall
was that the wind
teasing like hands through my hair
with the faint smell of fall
was that the morning 
that crept through my bedroom window
announcing that another day has come

was that the evening
the darkening sky
filled with stars as bright
as a glistening look in your eye
was that the world 
continuing to spin
and the moon and the sun in the sky 
as they have always been
was that life living still
and time preceding
onward without stopping

could it be that days carry on
and seasons change throughout the year 
and night turns into dawn
even without you here
and I would not have thought
that the universe would continue
or even I
as small as I may be
in the whole realm of all
could wake and leave my dreams 
and step from one day to the next
without you here with me

was that the sun
shining through my kitchen window
casting it's yellow smile
on my face
was that smell of fall and the change of seasons 
continuing in this place...
is it right that life should move forward and 
that I should go on too
when I miss you more than ever before
and my heart will not stop aching 

at the thought

of autumn

without you.

Charity 2005

In this vast void of life
is not loss enough
for the hungry jaws of fate
and what is left to take
we have nothing 
and you come knocking
waiting at our door
you vicious birds of prey 
that would devour
all that I don't have 
and my sleeping hour

every road slants up from here
yet I am cascading downward
spiraling through mazes
I am displaced
when faced with this
wretched state of being

and yet 
I open my eyes some how wider
than I ever have before
I never thought to ask for more
but I see between the lines
above the clouds
outside my mind
the here and now looks to me just like 
the illusion that I know it is
as my thoughts begin to give flight
to this state that I call life

is this the only way to 
have true sight?

must I be wrapped in darkness 
to see without my eyes 
to know more than the lies
of this wasted realm
with this sense of spirit ever heightened
never was I so enlightened 
till I stepped within
this darkness vast
and suddenly see past
all that I once thought 
was real and solid
need I accept this knowledge
or just go on
with what I knew before
I saw beyond the door
of pain and desperate sorrow
straight into tomorrow


Charity July 2005

On the outside of the fringe
feeling extra
and unhinged
I am on the ledge again
and beginning to like it here.

the air is cooler on the outside
the silence
so soothing
like driving at night
on an open highway
that streches forever
never
looking back.

and I need the space
on days like today
if I had the ability
I would probably
even push my own self away.

Charity 2006