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(move along
there's nothing to see here just me wrecked in blue over someone I hardly knew) but your laugh was so fucking beautiful you don't know if you could hear your soft sexy laugh you would understand why I fell so fast for you why I let my guard down just long enough to let in one I hardly knew and god if you could hear your voice the way it sounded to my ears you'd understand why I had no choice but to release my fears of love, lust, need and all the vulnerability that comes along with those kinds of things and why I let myself want like I hadn't in so long God if you could see what your eyes look like when you smile you'd know why I was a child next to you nervous and new I swear if you felt for one second the way I did while I sat so close to you as our arms barely touched and I felt myself trembling through wondering if you knew if you could feel it too... you would know why I fell so damn fast lost track of all my plans to never need again anyone so bad, like that (and did I ever need like that before ... no this is more) but if you could hear your laugh then you would understand why I could not hold back from falling down deep in... your beautiful fucking laugh.
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I miss you and the way
you seldom say what is actually on your mind sometimes I think even you don't know what it is you're wanting from you or me or anyone I don't ask questions and I don't say what is actually on my mind But I do tell the truth when I say anything I am unrelentlessly honest even when I try not to be but the words I don't say to you could fill so many chapters in my unwritten books yet I leave the pages blank and if the act of omission is the same as a lie then I am a liar I am a liar I am such a liar. Charity 2006 Is it madness to put my life on display like paint on canvas all walls eventually crumble as do my own while I stumble deeper into this public plane of existence layers of resistance crackle and fade like the wall on which my world is displayed and who would believe that anyone would read my rambling, tumbling, scribbling, stumbling rhymes... madness or just cracked paint on canvas who knows but I write on regardless. Seen or unseen... It's like breathing for me anymore. Charity  |
Charity Janisse
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August 2024
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