I waited.
I waited by the window.
I waited by the door. 
I waited at a cafe table with a bottle of wine and I watched for a sign.
I waited.
On the fire escape, leaned over the rail.
Watched till night fell, the streets cleared 
and a hollow wind tangled through the trees.
I waited.
I watched the sun rise and fall, the moon wax and wane...
The seasons would change and yet no change in me.
I waited and those thoughts of you would not leave.
I waited for a step on the stair, a knock on the door, a word in my ear.
I waited.
Smoked a cigarette on the fire escape 
flicking ashes through the rails between my feet
watching the embers fall to the sidewalk and burn out.
And I waited for these feelings to fade away like the end of a long hot day,
the way a cool night breeze comes through the window
tickles my neck inviting me out for a midnight walk
I waited for a word, a touch, a something... but nothing.
I waited till I could not even remember what it was I wanted and why
I had never bothered to ask before I waited.
                                                          So I waited.

Charity 2013

It's taken me all the lifetime
That I've known so far
To get exactly here.
It's taken me
Roads and roads and roads ~
Counting the miles
Sometimes even the lines on the street
And playing games with the passing colors of the cars.
Boarding ships
Those ships full of countless faces
Packed into cabins
over oceans
And me... sneaking onto forbidden parts of the upper deck
To watch the sunrise on the water.
And planes
So many airplanes
I have flown on since before I was two
Running up and down the aisles
As a tiny little child
Making friends
With all the strangers
On any flight through the sky
And I still do that don't I...?
 
 It has taken thousands of cups of coffee
Breakfast in cool little diners by the highway
Midnight rest stops in the mountains of Tennessee
… Countless walks on the beach.
All those gorgeous ocean shores
On this and the other side of the earth
With my feet sinking into the wet sand
while the cool waves lapped and tickled at my ankles.
And wandering down paths in the woods
The Redwoods were my favorite.
Trees so profound
In that California Forest
As a child I was sure I would reach heaven if I climbed one.
 
Years of exploring city streets
In every state
Walking by shops and little cafes
Where music from street performers
Would call to me.
And I never did stop traveling…
Meeting the eyes of strangers
In so many bus stations and airports
Lingering in shops
As I walked
through that airport in Seoul, Korea
I took off, told my friends
I'd be back in time to catch the plane
just wanted to find the perfect souvenir to take
home with me
When truthfully
I was hoping to see
you.
 
I remember climbing Island Mountains
and shopping busy markets
in the Philippines
on the other side
of the world
where I saw sights
you wouldn't believe
and I
could never describe ~
then back to the states
where I walked, wandered, waited and watched for you
the way I do.
 
So many people I met
and every face I saw
looking for that one single spectacular connection
I knew for sure I would find
I always
knew.
And all those roads
all the flights
all the ships
and roaming nights
they served me well
so perfectly well
because here you are now
in my life.

​Charity
12/14/13

Passing in passages
Spinning in Circles
Sifting through smiles
Who has and who will
Smiling she climbs
Up to your window sill
Leaning in laughing
With so little warning 
Brushing your lips
In a happy good morning
Touching your cheek
While saying she loves you
Tilting to tell just how much
She thinks of you
Kissing your forehead
And slipping away
Again out the window 
To start a new day


Charity

Old poem about a friend of mine, our fire escapes used to lead to each others apartments :). I like it

In my mind you are 
Crystallized
Frozen in time and idealized
Brilliant and Revolutionary
Like the day you walked away.
The weather changed you
Loss estranged you
And you put away your boots and leather
For a suit and sweater...
But in my mind you're
Crystallized
Frozen in time and idealized
As exquisite and unruly
As the day I walked away.

Charity Joy

​You didn’t see me in the light
nor in the night

did you?

you did not see me from a distance
you did not recognize
me
at all…

did you not see me
passing like a shadow through the trees
did you not see me
gliding like a ghost along the breeze
did you not see my reflection in the glass
as I did pass
like a sigh
from a thought of yours
to a breath of mine

~ did you not know me
ageless and eternal
touch my hand
and feel the energy
that burns
beneath my skin
did you not notice the stars
watching us
through the window
when we met
and the moon curious
as it peered at us
wondering if we would remember
or forget

And did you
or did you not remember
that as we travel
through life
we unravel
the mystery of our souls
the mystery we hold
~ where we come from
where we go
did you not see me
did you not know
that I exist
just the way you did
within
the place in between
the seen and unseen
and it was your smile
that brought me back
once more
to this track
of reality
​
I needed to exist
to be
human one time more
to see you
touch you
again
feel the heat of your skin
against my skin
even when
you did not see me
clearly
know me
or remember
that there ever
was ever a we
in between earth
and the eternal
ever present
existence
so far beyond
this track of reality.

​Charity Janisse