So I waited

I waited.
I waited by the window.
I waited by the door. 
I waited at a cafe table with a bottle of wine and I watched for a sign.
I waited.
On the fire escape, leaned over the rail.
Watched till night fell, the streets cleared 
and a hollow wind tangled through the trees.
I waited.
I watched the sun rise and fall, the moon wax and wane...
The seasons would change and yet no change in me.
I waited and those thoughts of you would not leave.
I waited for a step on the stair, a knock on the door, a word in my ear.
I waited.
Smoked a cigarette on the fire escape 
flicking ashes through the rails between my feet
watching the embers fall to the sidewalk and burn out.
And I waited for these feelings to fade away like the end of a long hot day,
the way a cool night breeze comes through the window
tickles my neck inviting me out for a midnight walk
I waited for a word, a touch, a something... but nothing.
I waited till I could not even remember what it was I wanted and why
I had never bothered to ask before I waited.
                                                          So I waited.

Charity 2013