​I love
With simple lines
And you are drawn
To me
Painted in
A back alley
Backed into a corner
I didn’t mean to frighten
When I left
You could have followed
You can still ask
To have me back
Time means nothing
There is no lack
Love grows in silence
Distracted by erupting volcanos
In the mind
Of thought and patience
I never released you
(Though I swear to god I meant to)
We began the way ended
Pretending to be nonchalant
Polite
Contrite
Accepting of our placement
In (and out of) one another’s lives
I am not so easily fooled
By your serene exterior
I know you’re an earthquake
Simmering under the surface
Pretending to be unaffected
By the extent
Of this connection
But I am not
(Unaffected)
And you are not
Why be pretenders
When we descended
Into forms like these
To be
Tremendous
Honest
In
Our intensity
I meant to (but never) let you be
So why pretend
To be free of me
I’m there
In your mind
In your soul
In your being
Awake
Asleep
I’m the one
You are seeing
So why pretend
This vicious
So non-delicious
Calm.
​
Charity

​The sun burned hot in the sky last summer.
The rain did not come for months and everything that had been real to me began to fade
Like the green of the grass as it changed to yellow, crackled beneath my bare feet and turned to dust.
I remember forgetting obligations, complications and random social drama...
I stepped away from it all and chased rust and trains instead.
As the reality I knew twisted, turned, writhed and fought for my attention
I let it wither and fade.
I ran after magic, I meditated in the dry heat,
I let time roll backwards and forwards then cease to exist at all.
I chased sunrises and sunsets
I hunted for old buildings where I could lose myself in photographing the lovely details
Of crumbling bricks and cracked paint
And I thought about how everything we build turns to ash eventually.
It is only our soul outside of time and fabrication that lives and exists to create more life.
So I stopped feeding the machine
The man made web of credit, work and wasted days
My life would no longer be lost to wretched office walls
That would one day crumble and decay like the rest.
I chased sunsets and trains instead
Until I couldn't even remember why I ever walked into the office day after day
And believed that it mattered and was worth trading in my life, my bliss, my time or my art.
Then one day after the drought outside had lasted for so long
that it had drained most of the color from the natural world around me
I looked up and asked for rain.
I felt one drop then another
The sky clouded and the storm came
With a torrent of rain
And I walked out of the office and chased the storm instead.

1/27/2013
Charity 

It is not that we choose to be different
we just accept that we are
we walk in your world
but we see another.
We try to pretend that we fit in
Sometimes
it's something people have to do
to make a living
to survive
to not be completely outcast
outside, alone
but deep inside
we know
we are not
and can never be
one of what you are
We look at your cities and we see the history
the hands through time that built them
and the lives that walked within them
years before we ever came to be
we look at your trees and we see their faces
and we feel their emotion
and their knowledge
their ancient deity
we listen to your music
and we hear the heart and the soul of the poet, the singer
we feel their love
we sense their loss
and we live and dream inside the poetry
we do not think like you
but we feel
we sense
we breathe
everything
and sometimes it is too hard
to walk among you
to pretend to be one of you
so occasionally
we hide in our rooms
and we listen to those soulful songs
and we lose our selves in the music and poetry
until your world fades away
almost completely
and we remember who we are
and we remember that we did not choose to be different
we just accept that we are.


Charity

3/12/2012

To show my art
is to show my madness
to let it be revealed
for what it is

the depth
the need that gnaws at us

am I alone in this

Emily Dickinson hid in white dresses and lived in a quiet room
away from anyone
who
would seek to know her more
and me

I hide

behind this electric screen

the walls are the same

life goes on outside
and I swear to join it again

but what am I to do
what am I to bring when I leave this place

if not my words
if not my art
I have nothing to offer

and yet to share my art is to share my madness

my passion
my need
and this unusual world that I see
where ancient trees wave and
smile at me
surrounded in shimmering colors of life
and brilliant energy

as I walk

alone
unknown
through the street

Emily Dickinson hid out
in a white dress
and an upstairs bedroom

and me
well I have this screen.

Charity
​1/10/2014

love is the elixir that she bathes in
dances, dreams and aches in.
the ancient magic
that stirs in her
the dew on the grass
the wisp of a cloud
that travels past,
lives is this girl
that you desire
but can never
fully grasp
as
she is the one
that soars in a dream
back to her sleeping body
soundly within
the lines
and rhymes of poetry
she is
the divine
awakened mystery
sublime
enchanting
outside of time
she is the distant desire 
in your mind
for what you would have
never planned
and cannot understand

just take a breath
and take her hand

trust that all is well
and you will not utterly lose yourself
to a girl
who bathes in the well 
of love.

You'll only lose yourself
just enough
to find
what distant inside
You always knew
you wanted

from the beginning.


Charity

​I would never ask you to be more or less
Than what you are, 
I simply want to know you.
I will not ask you to stay the same, I will not ask you to change
Or to never change.
Growth and transformation
Are part of the human experience.
Love allows growth
Even when it means 
You must get to know another
All over again.
I will not ask you to be what I need
I will only ask me
To be what I need.
If that means being more, then I will grow
If that means crawling deep within
The darkest, most unknown depths of who I am
I will disappear, as it may seem
From your sight
To explore my own
Dark
And my own light.
I will not ask you to follow
And I will not ask you to understand 
Or even approve
Of where I've gone 
Or who I am.
It only matters if I do.
Love does not mean 
You pretend to be
What you think I want
Or need
Love means being exquistely
You.
And I promise
To love
Exactly who
It is
You know you are ~
Even if to find out who that is 
You must disappear
And dive inside
Your own dark night
I will be here
With my own light.
And if you're meant to 
One day
Find me again
I will not ask you
To be more
Or to be less
Than who you are
I only want to know you.
Charity

​Closer than we ever were
Further now
Tho I feel you near
If you knew would you return
Or have you always been right here?

Charity

​​When she falls
She falls
Like waterfalls
Crashing into the sea
Beneath
She's Niagara to me
Fierce
Rushing
Dangerous
And Lovely ~
When she falls.

Charity