It's taken me all the lifetime
That I've known so far
To get exactly here.
It's taken me
Roads and roads and roads ~
Counting the miles
Sometimes even the lines on the street
And playing games with the passing colors of the cars.
Boarding ships
Those ships full of countless faces
Packed into cabins
over oceans
And me... sneaking onto forbidden parts of the upper deck
To watch the sunrise on the water.
And planes
So many airplanes
I have flown on since before I was two
Running up and down the aisles
As a tiny little child
Making friends
With all the strangers
On any flight through the sky
And I still do that don't I...?
 
 It has taken thousands of cups of coffee
Breakfast in cool little diners by the highway
Midnight rest stops in the mountains of Tennessee
… Countless walks on the beach.
All those gorgeous ocean shores
On this and the other side of the earth
With my feet sinking into the wet sand
while the cool waves lapped and tickled at my ankles.
And wandering down paths in the woods
The Redwoods were my favorite.
Trees so profound
In that California Forest
As a child I was sure I would reach heaven if I climbed one.
 
Years of exploring city streets
In every state
Walking by shops and little cafes
Where music from street performers
Would call to me.
And I never did stop traveling…
Meeting the eyes of strangers
In so many bus stations and airports
Lingering in shops
As I walked
through that airport in Seoul, Korea
I took off, told my friends
I'd be back in time to catch the plane
just wanted to find the perfect souvenir to take
home with me
When truthfully
I was hoping to see
you.
 
I remember climbing Island Mountains
and shopping busy markets
in the Philippines
on the other side
of the world
where I saw sights
you wouldn't believe
and I
could never describe ~
then back to the states
where I walked, wandered, waited and watched for you
the way I do.
 
So many people I met
and every face I saw
looking for that one single spectacular connection
I knew for sure I would find
I always
knew.
And all those roads
all the flights
all the ships
and roaming nights
they served me well
so perfectly well
because here you are now
in my life.

​Charity

​I would never ask you to be more or less
Than what you are, 
I simply want to know you.
I will not ask you to stay the same, I will not ask you to change
Or to never change.
Growth and transformation
Are part of the human experience.
Love allows growth
Even when it means 
You must get to know another
All over again.
I will not ask you to be what I need
I will only ask me
To be what I need.
If that means being more, then I will grow
If that means crawling deep within
The darkest, most unknown depths of who I am
I will disappear, as it may seem
From your sight
To explore my own
Dark
And my own light.
I will not ask you to follow
And I will not ask you to understand 
Or even approve
Of where I've gone 
Or who I am.
It only matters if I do.
Love does not mean 
You pretend to be
What you think I want
Or need
Love means being exquistely
You.
And I promise
To love
Exactly who
It is
You know you are ~
Even if to find out who that is 
You must disappear
And dive inside
Your own dark night
I will be here
With my own light.
And if you're meant to 
One day
Find me again
I will not ask you
To be more
Or to be less
Than who you are
I only want to know you.
Charity

Through time
Through places
Endless spaces
I call
Souls speak
Over distances
No one mind
Can understand
Though
Distances divide
Body and mind
Souls laugh 
And live
And lay entwined
In the sweet freedom
Of Understanding.​

Charity
​1-5-2005

You owe me nothing 
You have no obligation 
We are simply individuals
Existing in one realm.
I owe you nothing
I have no obligation 
We are simply individuals
Existing in this same realm
for a time, and it passes
Skin and spirit
Spirit and skin.
We are both human 
And separate as it seems
And that's alright
At the moment
It does not mean
We won't meet again
In another age
In another form
You may have loved me
It does not mean
You ought to love me
Today.
It's so easy
To get caught up
In past Connections
When your memory
Encompasses
Multiple dimensions
And thousands of years.
But for now
We have this one exquisite moment
This one day in time
To be exactly who and what we are
Why waste time grasping at connections
From lives long past 
When today encompasses everything.
There is now
There is this morning, there is this earth
Beneath my feet
And if it all
Were to end
Without warning
I would like to believe
Today
Who I am
What I explore in this precious present moment
Is enough.​

Charity

​

​Were you anything ever
Was I anyone
To you
Maybe yes
Maybe never
But I belong…
When the day turns night
Shadows turn
Long
I turn
To a thought of you
It's something old
And nothing new
I do.
Ancient
As our souls
When we began
Younger than we realize
Now and then.
Did you forget
You're ageless
When
I touch you?
Did you forget I was yours 
Before time
And all that
Began –
To be recorded
Rewound, fast forward
Don't forget you're everything
Don't forget you're everything
If I was never anything…
Just don't forget you're everything –
I ever wanted
(And I looked a long time)
Not just a lifetime
But several
And you were damn hard to track down
Ancient
7 wonders or perhaps thousands 
I have wandered
This universe is nothing –
So small compared 
To the places I've traveled
In the hopes
Of meeting you there…
Oh the places I've traveled 
For a moment or two
Of eye contact with you –
And it's worth it, I guess 
To see you 
In the flesh
To know you exist
And now I can rest
Knowing we've met
And maybe in the next
Life 
You won't forget
That we were supposed to matter
To each other
For a little longer
Than a few stolen nights
Of lust and lies…
We were meant to matter 
More
But at least I don't have
To wander
Travel 
Search the universe over
You exist
And I have peace
In this.
Charity

​You didn’t see me in the light
nor in the night

did you?

you did not see me from a distance
you did not recognize
me
at all…

did you not see me
passing like a shadow through the trees
did you not see me
gliding like a ghost along the breeze
did you not see my reflection in the glass
as I did pass
like a sigh
from a thought of yours
to a breath of mine

~ did you not know me
ageless and eternal
touch my hand
and feel the energy
that burns
beneath my skin
did you not notice the stars
watching us
through the window
when we met
and the moon curious
as it peered at us
wondering if we would remember
or forget

And did you
or did you not remember
that as we travel
through life
we unravel
the mystery of our souls
the mystery we hold
~ where we come from
where we go
did you not see me
did you not know
that I exist
just the way you did
within
the place in between
the seen and unseen
and it was your smile
that brought me back
once more
to this track
of reality
​
I needed to exist
to be
human one time more
to see you
touch you
again
feel the heat of your skin
against my skin
even when
you did not see me
clearly
know me
or remember
that there ever
was ever a we
in between earth
and the eternal
ever present
existence
so far beyond
this track of reality.

​Charity Janisse

​Closer than we ever were
Further now
Tho I feel you near
If you knew would you return
Or have you always been right here?

Charity

​​When she falls
She falls
Like waterfalls
Crashing into the sea
Beneath
She's Niagara to me
Fierce
Rushing
Dangerous
And Lovely ~
When she falls.

Charity

​I do not claim to be
Perfectly adjusted
All together
Well balanced
Or even
Completely sane,
But I am
A creature who lives
For the word behind my name.
I live for love.
I have survived
More than most should see ~
(In one life time
At least)
And I have lived
Wild and recklessly…
I do not claim
To know exactly
What I am doing
Where I am going
Or what will happen next,
And I am not perfectly satisfied
With this life I have
At present
Who is?
But I make my choices
Good or bad
Healthy or not
Logical, sound
Or utterly foolish,
I make my choices
Based on the word behind my name.
I make my choices for love.
And in a world of people
Who every single day
Make choices for the sake of fear
Choosing what I love
Over all
At all times
It has to mean something.

~Charity