What are the falls that fall
What is this catch that calls At the corner of a soul It stands near the window Lifts its voice like the distant instrument Of a street musician And speaks all It tells my story It slips Fading fast from tongue As breath beyond lung A universe That lined us up Precisely In thousands of seconds One after another Each step taking us closer To one Then Another Closer or further Still always together We keep meeting We keep meeting In the most recessed spaces places In the mind You’re a fleeting floating reeling thought Spinning like a dancer Released and caught On a ledge On the edge Lingering lazily on a cool spring evening While the breeze Teases me With your name Like a violinist playing exquisite Measures on the corner Maybe for her dinner Your name it plays across my thought Like that That lone musician On an mid-may evening The way the music trails Just near enough to hear You are that sound in my ear The breath in my chest I need not request As it is always here. You are a presence That I have accepted You are a presence That I have accepted You are a presence. Charity
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I know you
Long before even our eyes met In a dream eons before then That I can’t forget I know you The only face on this planet I have ever recognized And remembered after As I am not from here But I arrived In the life Of a human girl To find exactly You. And I know you It’s not anything my mind can make sense of And my nerves Well they quickly throw The old defense up But some place within me Remembers everything I’ve seen and not seen of you Like we’ve already shared A lifetime Or two Or ten… And this world is a reckless, restless Dangerous place At times And we arrive In the form of these quick but brilliant human lives And it’s a test to be here This is true But I’d come back Like I’ve come back Again And again For this chance Of meeting you And the chance Of remembering too That I know you I know you. Charity If there was a better way to see it
Perhaps I would If there was another way to leave it Perhaps I could But the day we met Is the only time I ever felt At home On this spinning whirling ball of green and blue And I knew I came for you There's many I love And much to do I've got my plans, my dreams, my goals My ideas, my unspoken wishes Like anyone But you You Feel like the home I've never known. Charit It seems like six years
- Except that there is no such thing as time (Accept that there is no such thing as time) It’s just the amount of repetitive daily experiences you must exist in Before you are unwilling to accept them And you shift into a new dimension Out of what was never actually yours (Except for a while because you took on what was told you by another) But you are not another You are none other Than the breath of relief you feel in a moment Where truth and peace resides In your being And you smile knowing deeply within That all is well These are the moments that are real - Except that there are no such thing as moments (Accept that there are no such thing as moments) You are here And this is all The rest was a dream Something someone else told you You ought to believe But you know what’s yours And you know you are free You are free You are free To be You are free To be. Charity Future is today
The past is a vapor Nothing else matters But the air we breathe in this present second. (So can I please be forgiven?) The darkness has past The sun has risen In my frozen northern sky As I wake and meet your eye In this galaxy that is my mind. Last night as I drifted into sleep I dreamt my head rested on your chest And your arm Wrapped sleepily (Protectively) Around my shoulders It felt more real Than the bed Beneath me. For In this wild, wicked, wonderful world You are one of the few things That is truly real To me So please Just trust me Now. Because the past is a vapor (There's nothing left to fight about) The future is the breath we breathe In this present second there is nothing else Besides ~ And in this moment For me There is only you in my mind. What else can you ask me for When all I have to offer Is who I am today? And all I ask of you Is who you are Today. What else do we have But forgiveness Trust Hope in us And today. Charity 11/28/2018 Tell me more love
I want to know everything about you I want to visit The places in your soul You fear to tread I want to remind you To see you as I do I want to remind you To love you As I do Show me more Love I want to dive in And swim In the water of your shadows Understand every part of you That you believe Could never matter To another It matters to me. I believe The heights of you Are only so high Because your depths Are deeper Than another Could actually comprehend Take me I want to Understand. Touch me I want To understand Show me I want To understand You in ways No one else can I have no desire for you To live up to some set plan In my eye Or even try To be What you think I need I only want to see The reality Of precious restless Wild wandering You. I touched the mirror And my hand began to melt Into the reflection That changed From my eyes to yours I opened a portal And you could not help But step through The way I've been begging Praying Hoping Saying I wished someone Could do Now I want To do the same For you If you want me to Take my hand And pull me in Never fear I can swim In the depths of your shadows You are what matters And I want to see you All of you Please Show me more Love. Charity I would never ask you to be more or less
Than what you are, I simply want to know you. I will not ask you to stay the same, I will not ask you to change Or to never change. Growth and transformation Are part of the human experience. Love allows growth Even when it means You must get to know another All over again. I will not ask you to be what I need I will only ask me To be what I need. If that means being more, then I will grow If that means crawling deep within The darkest, most unknown depths of who I am I will disappear, as it may seem From your sight To explore my own Dark And my own light. I will not ask you to follow And I will not ask you to understand Or even approve Of where I've gone Or who I am. It only matters if I do. Love does not mean You pretend to be What you think I want Or need Love means being exquisitely You. And I promise To love Exactly who It is You know you are ~ Even if to find out who that is You must disappear And dive inside Your own dark night I will be here With my own light. And if you're meant to One day Find me again I will not ask you To be more Or to be less Than who you are I only want to know you. Charity 2/9/2018 I was meant to
Follow you into the night I know that. I was meant to dive deep into the depths of the blackness And bring you light (In a moment when not a damn thing in your life felt right) I was meant to reach for you I was meant to touch your face I was meant to meet your eyes And bring you back from that far off place ~ But how? Tell me how (If possible Tell me Now.) I was meant to dive all The way down Into the worst Of the curse with you. And bring you back truly alive. Willing to give something more Than mere survival a try. I was meant to wake you I was meant to take you Home. With me. I think... Or were you the one Meant to return for me? (Humanity makes it so easy to forget) We had it all sorted out Before we left The other side... To enter this space, this time. So clear So fearless So right. And now here I stand Flesh, blood, thought and forgetting Was I meant to be the one searching Or to be the one waiting? And so Unsure I wait. Hating the passage of time With your lips So far from mine And yet if I follow you Into your night Would I also be here, still waiting When You arrive? Charity Janisse Closer than we ever were
Further now Though I feel you near If you knew would you return Or have you always been right here? Charity 11/20/2016 ~We are a spark
a connection lightening brightening the sky as dark as darkness has ever been (the deepest lost black you've ever seen) we are the shimmer that breaks through the night the light for less than a second the brightest bright flashing light we transform transfigure transmute the night. And without the darkness who would have seen it? without the night who would have known the way you illuminated my life for one spectacular millisecond in time. And I cannot live inside that moment of lightening ~ (fast it passed lovely and frightening) but I am changed revolutionized because the thunder the tempest that came after the lightening electric ~~~ the storm it came... (the way it always does) wind howled rain poured washed through cleansed changed transformed everything. and it was worth the storm goddamn it was worth the storm the change you brought It was worth the storm. Charity |
Charity Janisse
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November 2024
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